Life is what you make it

I know the title to this is pretty cliche, but it's also true.

I was having birthday dinner at my mom's place the other night and the conversation quickly took a serious note, and was kind of inspirational.

After noticing that my sister didn't look very happy, 'cause let's face it she never really does, my mom just had to comment, "What's wrong? You don't look very happy. You seem like you're always unimpressed." Which my sister replied, "Why is everybody asking me that?"

Well, sis, maybe because it's true. She just never seems to have a genuine smile on her face these days.

So, after my mom made my sister cry unintentionally, she went on to say that if there's something about your life you don't like, change it. You're the only one in control of your own destiny. I'm not really a fan of the word destiny. It just seems too wishy-washy and corny. But either way you spin it, I think she's right about that. Life is what we make it, and no one else can change it for us.

I've always been a big believer in trusting only yourself. I've had too many experiences where I've been let down by others and I've seen others get let down. Relying on yourself is important. However, I have begun to trust others more lately, which is a great feeling knowing you can rely on someone else and there's a real honesty coming from them. It's not very common these days, but it's great when you do find it.

There's a quote from Ghandi that I love which reminds me of a great friend who herself is an activist and is always looking for positive change:

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I think it really is that simple. If you want to see change, you have to make it happen. No one else is going to do it for you. You shouldn't just sit around waiting for someone else to do something. It's the worst thing you could do. In my experience it only leaves you bitter and more apathetic. Complaining about your life will only get you so far. Sure I could complain about things, but what's the point? I know it's only going to be undesirable for that moment. Things can quickly change in the blink of an eye if you want them to.

A year ago today I was probably in the worst shape of my life both mentally and physically. I let myself waste away to almost nothing, I was frenzied with negative thoughts and was drowning in a sea of depression. I thought just because I failed at school and in another relationship that I failed at life. Which is so not the case. Plans were made to be broken. And so they crumbled all around me. I was left with what felt like nothing to start over. Little did I know, there are other options in life.

Luckily I have an amazing support system of family and friends who carried me through that time. I don't know where I would be without them. I love them for that so much. I'm so grateful to have people around me who will help me no matter what happens. That's a great feeling to have. I think it's true that you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb your way back to the top. I'm still climbing but I feel closer than I've been in a long time.

Sure things aren't perfect at this precise moment, but I believe they are exactly as they should be. I can only see things getting better from here on out. I look forward to my future, whatever it may bring and I am so glad to be where I am today.

Life really is what you make it. To me, life is sweet. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day everyone! I hope everyone is at home enjoying the comforts of good food and family.

This is the part of the year where we are all supposed to reflect upon our lives and what we are thankful for. Right now, I'm thankful for mainly three things: health, family and friends. Not to mention all the love I've been fortunate to receive lately. Which reminds me, I'm officially in a relationship. Wow...

The "west coast wonder" if he could be so named, is now my boyfriend. Again. Crazy how life works isn't it? Who would've thought I'd end up here? Not me, that's for sure. Though I have to say, so far it feels great.

This is my first long-distance relationship. I've never experienced being so far away from someone, yet feeling so close to them at the same time. I can't wait until we get to remove the space between us...it's gonna be crazy. But I'm so excited! I think if we both want it to work, it will. Sometimes, I can't believe my life.

It might seem like it's all been moving too fast, but it feels right to us, I guess. Why not go for it? I just hope when we actually get together it's as good as we are making it out to be. We've been building the whole occasion up so much that it has to be nothing short than amazing at this point. I think it will be.

I just can't wait to get away for a while. It'll be nice to go somewhere different. I keep imagining different scenarios in my head. I picture us going out to dinner, to a club, walking near the ocean, or just hanging around his place... It's probably nothing like what I think it is. I hope it's even better. It'll be nice to explore some place new with someone familiar... I miss him more and more everyday.

The other scary part is, we love each other. I wasn't used to this at first. Just hearing those words was so foreign to me that I felt a little awkward. But now it's like, okay this is what it feels like, I remember this. I just can't believe how crazy he is about me...I knew he used to be, and apparently the fire hasn't died... It seems so surreal. I missed the attention, don't get me wrong, I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm worth it. It's been a long lonely road. I'm glad I finally have someone to share it with.

I really wish we could share the holiday weekend together, but we'll just have to make it up later. I hope he knows that I'm thankful for him, and that I love him too.