Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Calm after the (shit) storm

I'd say I'm in a much better mood than when I last wrote. I was fuming as I typed, fingers punching the keys like they were a punching bag. I hate fighting with people about something I can't control. When the issue is in the past and you can't change it, what can you do? A whole bunch of nothing, really.

Things seem to be back to normal. Sort of. I'm sure it will just take some time. I guess if I found out something I didn't like about someone I love I would be unsettled, too. It's just really pointless in my opinion. The whole situation doesn't change who I am, I'm still the same person, though his opinion of me is probably becoming less and less. Though I would think if he really loved me none of that would matter. I shouldn't be judged or talked down to because of my past.

The past, the past the fucking past. Who cares? Why let it get in the way of things? Let go of your issues and move on. Live for today and maybe tomorrow. That's what I'm trying to do. I have things to look forward to, a new job, a new school, a new city. I don't want his negativity to hinder my growth and ability to look at things in my usually overly-optimistic manner. I know at times I'm too worry-free, but why be stressed over things when you don't have to be? Life is short, do what you want and have fun.

Aside from the fighting, things have been going pretty well here. We've developed this routine of having supper and watching Dexter on Netflix every night. We've been out with his friends once so far, which was really fun. Apart from the fact that he tried to blame it on me that we went out when we couldn't really afford it. Either way, I'm in love with downtown Vancouver. Granville street reminds me of Times Square with all the people and bright lights.

So far in comparison with Winnipeg I'd say Vancouver wins top spot for better city. For starters, it's beautiful here. Everytime I see the mountains, I'm mesmerized. I could stare at them for hours. The weather is nice, though it's mostly rain, I'd rather deal with that than below freezing temperatures. Transit is way better. Buses come at faster intervals and the skytrain is awesome. It seems everywhere is only a few minutes away. Also, there's more to do. I can't wait until summer when we can bike and go camping and hiking. Not to mention swimming in the ocean! That's one thing that will be finally checked off my bucket list.

I'm sure as the days go by things will continue to get better. I'll feel more secure once I find a job and start saving for school. I also can't wait to make our place even more of a home, buying art for the walls, an actual dresser so I don't have to live out of a suitcase and a little kitchen table so we can have a proper sit down dinner. The little things are what make life interesting. Let's hope it never gets boring.

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