Another weekend is upon us, and here I go again, out to the watering hole that is the portage bar. Not that there's much else to do in this town on weekends, but I've come to realize that I frequent this place way more than I should. I do love to dance though...
I guess my point is that I wish I had more than just drinking and loud music to fulfill my life at this point. I want to grow and to expand my experiences. Constantly drinking every weekend doesn't exactly bring me to that other level- except inebriation.
Does it all come down to logistics? Perhaps if I wasn't living in Portage things would be different? I'm not sure about that though... a bigger city would only bring more options of where to buy a drink... Maybe all of this is just a sign that I'm ready for better things? I can't see myself living here forever, and the fact that I know people who accept that they will spend their lives here just boggles my mind. How can someone not want to go out and experience something new and different? I have such a yearning for travel, to see how other people live, experience different cultures other than my own. I feel it's so limiting being stuck in one place for so long. Routine can be good for certain things, but not when your life isn't to your satisfaction.
I'm hoping this summer I'll find some kind of adventure, something that I can say really awakened my spirits and allowed me to expand my horizons. I feel that travel would do that, and I intend on visiting dear friends once they have left for the summer. At this point in my life I'm really wondering where my life is going to end up, but I also realize that life is never what you want it to be. I really wish I didn't feel like I was constantly letting myself down for not finishing school, when it is completely possible to finish another time. There is more to life than education... I just feel like I'm wasting time going out, drinking, doing the same monotonous thing. At some point, it really does get old. I really don't want to end up living life like it's an episode of Jersey Shore. I think it's time to find something else to do.
I guess that's all for now...
I must say that after reading this it really made me think of my last year here in Portage. Seeing as the last couple years I saw myself at Simplot and doing the same thing day in day out with very little change. I ended up taking university courses only to decide that they were not for me. Also I have gone on trips and seen some places else where in Canada and the States and decided that even though every weekend may be filled with the same continual things, it comes down to the people you share it with or the friends you have by your side that make the difference because no matter where you go it will continually be the same because it's not the change in scenery, it's the change in personal goals or self happiness.
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